You’ve made your list, checked it twice — and then your co-parent calls.

They want to change the holiday schedule. Maybe it’s for a family trip, an out-of-town wedding, or a relative’s illness. Whatever the reason, their request puts you in a tough spot.

Should you say yes? No? Call your lawyer?

The truth is, you have options — and Minnesota law gives you a clear path to handle these situations calmly and fairly.

Here’s what to do when your co-parent wants to override the custody order this holiday season.

Step 1: Pause Before You React

It’s easy to get defensive when your co-parent asks to change the plan — especially if it feels like they’re overstepping.

Before you respond:

• • Take a breath.
  • Review your court order to confirm what it actually says.
  • Ask yourself if their request is reasonable or disruptive.

If it’s a one-time, good-faith request (like visiting a sick grandparent or attending a wedding), flexibility might make sense.
If it’s a recurring pattern or creates conflict, you’ll want a more formal solution.

Step 2: Know What Minnesota Law Says

Under Minnesota Statute §518.175, a custody or parenting-time order is binding.
That means neither parent can unilaterally change the schedule — even for the holidays.

To change it legally, you need either:

• A written agreement between both parents, or

• A court-approved stipulation or modification order.

If your co-parent decides to make changes on their own, it’s considered a violation — and you can ask the court for compensatory parenting time (make-up days) or enforcement.

💡 Good to know: Minnesota’s updated parenting-time laws now allow for expedited hearings (within 30 days) if a parent is denied two consecutive weeks of parenting time.

Step 3: If You Agree, Put It in Writing

If the change works for you, you can agree — but document it clearly.

Here’s what to include:

• Specific dates and times (“Dec. 22 at 6 p.m. to Dec. 26 at 6 p.m.”)

• Clarify that it’s a one-time exception (e.g., “This change applies to 2025 only”)

• Sign and date the agreement or confirm it in writing via email or a co-parenting app

This keeps expectations clear and prevents future “you said / I said” misunderstandings.

Step 4: If You Don’t Agree, Stand on the Order

You are not required to give up your court-ordered time.

If the change disrupts your plans, your child’s stability, or previous agreements, you can politely decline.

Try this neutral response:

“I understand your request, but our current order already covers this holiday. I’m not comfortable changing it this year.”

Staying factual and calm keeps things professional — and it makes it easier to enforce your rights if they ignore the schedule

Step 5: If They Break the Order Anyway

If your co-parent overrides the plan without your consent:

1. Document everything — texts, emails, missed exchange times.

2. Don’t retaliate or withhold future time.

3. Contact your attorney to request enforcement or compensatory parenting time.

Minnesota courts take wrongful denials of parenting time seriously, especially around the holidays.
Depending on the situation, the court can order make-up time, reimburse travel costs, or impose sanctions.

Step 6: Prevent Repeat Conflicts

If this happens often, it’s time to tighten your holiday language with a Holiday Addendum — a short, written supplement to your parenting plan that:

• Defines exact start and end times for holidays

• Lists which parent gets which holidays each year

• Includes clear travel and notice rules

You can start with our free Holiday Parenting-Time Checklist to outline your terms, then let our team review or file it to make it enforceable.

Minnesota Perspective

Judges in Minnesota generally appreciate when parents show flexibility — but only within reason.
Courts want to see that you’re being cooperative and protecting your child’s best interests.

If you document changes fairly and communicate clearly, you’ll look responsible — not rigid.

Step 7: When to Get Help

Call a family law attorney if:

• Your co-parent is repeatedly asking for “exceptions”

• They refuse to follow the order

• You need help drafting or filing an updated holiday plan

A quick consultation or flat-fee “Holiday Parenting-Time Tune-Up” can save you from a stressful season — and ensure your plan is enforceable for the future.