The holiday season is supposed to be a time of warmth, traditions, and togetherness. But for co-parents, it can quickly turn into confusion, arguments, and heartbreak — especially if your custody order doesn’t clearly address holiday parenting time.

In Minnesota, many custody agreements leave “holidays” undefined or vague, leading to yearly friction.

That’s why it pays to be proactive. Below are the 5 most common holiday custody disputes we see with Minnesota families — along with fixes you can put in place before the season starts.

1. Vague “Eve / Day” or Time Terms

The problem:
Your order says “Parent A has Christmas Eve, Parent B has Christmas Day.” But when does “Eve” end? Is “Christmas Day” starting at midnight or 6:00 a.m.? Does “evening” include dinner, bedtime, or overnight?

Because these terms are vague, disputes arise every year about pickup times, transitions, and whether one parent is unfairly shortchanged.

Fix it:

• • Use specific timestamps. E.g.: “Christmas Eve begins December 24 at 6:00 p.m. and ends December 25 at 9:00 a.m.”

  • Define exchange location (home, neutral spot, etc.).

  • If a parent is late, set a default fallback (e.g. “if not returned by 9 p.m., the other parent gains the remainder of the evening”).

  • In your addendum, include language that holiday terms override regular parenting time for that period.

2. No Holiday Schedule at All

The problem:
Many parenting plans or custody orders never explicitly address holidays (or use generic language like “alternate holidays” without detail). When the holiday arrives, the schedule is up in the air — leading to last-minute jockeying, conflict, or worse, one parent assuming rights.

Fix it:

• • Draft a holiday addendum (even an informal version) that lists specific holidays, who gets them, and when.

  • Use your checklist to identify gaps (holidays not included, no travel provisions, etc.).

  • If cooperation is good, you can initially keep it informal; if conflict risk is high, file it or convert it into a stipulation.

3. Last-Minute Changes & Travel Requests

The problem:
A few weeks before the holiday, one parent says they want to take the kids out of state, or change the day for a trip, or demand a special exception for a relative’s health situation. Because the agreement is vague, it’s easy to push one’s luck and force a scramble.

Fix it:

• • Include a travel clause in your holiday plan: require advance notice (e.g. 14 days) and sharing of itinerary, contact info, etc.

  • Build in contingency language: If planes are delayed, or weather intervenes, who retains custody?

  • Use tie-breaker default rules (if parents disagree, follow the holiday schedule as originally drafted).

4. One Parent Withholds Time or Refuses Return

The problem:
A parent doesn’t return the child at the agreed time, extends the visit without notice, or refuses to hand over the child altogether. This causes emotional harm, legal complications, and stress for the kids.

Fix it:

• • If your holiday terms are in a court order, you can file for enforcement, contempt, or compensatory time (especially under Minnesota’s newer parenting-time statutes).

  • If it’s an informal agreement, keep strict documentation (texts, timestamps, witnesses) — this will help if you later convert the holiday terms into a formal order.

  • In your addendum, include penalty or makeup time language: e.g. “If one party prevents parenting time, the other is entitled to compensatory time of ___ days.”

5. Conflict Between Holiday Terms & Regular Schedule

The problem:
Your normal parenting plan may grant a parent the first weekend of December, but that overlaps with Thanksgiving or winter break. Disagreements arise over whether the holiday or normal schedule takes precedence.

Fix it:

• • In your holiday addendum, specify that holiday schedule overrides the regular schedule during all holiday periods.

  • Make sure transitions are smooth: plan drop-off times immediately after the holiday block.

  • Use buffer days if needed (e.g. add a “switch day” buffer so someone isn’t penalized for late exchange).

How This Looks in Minnesota

• The Child-Focused Parenting Time Guide in Minnesota recommends that holiday and vacation schedules take precedence over standard possession schedules.

• Many Minnesota family law offices emphasize that including holiday terms in the custody order is critical for enforceability.

• Because of changing statutes and expectations around parenting-time in MN, courts now more favor specific and enforceable language concerning holiday schedules.

What You Can Do Right Now (And Why It Matters)

1. Download the Informal Holiday Addendum Checklist – use it to guide you as you draft your own informal holiday addendum.

2. Share the draft with your co-parent early, and agree on terms before the holiday season rush.

3. Decide whether to keep it informal or file with the court (your upgrade path)

4. Book a guidance call with us — we’ll review your draft, fill in legal gaps, and help with filing if needed.

Let this holiday season start with peace of mind — not chaos. Use the checklist, get real clarity, and give your kids the kind of holiday they deserve.