Parenting isn’t easy—even in the best of circumstances. According to a recent survey released by the Pew Research Center, 36 percent of respondents said parenting was “somewhat harder” than they expected and another 26 percent claimed parenting was “much harder” than they initially thought it would be.  But when your co-parent is working against you instead of with you, it can feel almost impossible to find peace or consistency for your child.

Unfortunately, manipulative behavior is more common than you’d think. It often emerges after a divorce or separation, fueled by unresolved emotions or an attempt to control the situation—or you. These tactics can erode trust, complicate parenting time, and most importantly, harm your child’s well-being.

Whether it’s passive-aggressive comments or more overt interference, the good news is this: You are not powerless. You can take back control. Here’s how.

1. Spot the Red Flags of Manipulation Early

Manipulative parenting often flies under the radar until it’s done real damage. That’s why awareness is your first line of defense. Common warning signs include:

• Your co-parent refuses direct communication and uses your child as a messenger

• Your child repeats negative or untrue statements about you

• Your parenting time is frequently interrupted or disrespected

• The other parent withholds information or bends the truth about important issues

• You feel pressured to “give in” just to keep the peace

If any of this sounds familiar, don’t ignore it. Recognize it for what it is, and if you feel safe doing so, address it directly. In many cases, a firm and respectful conversation is enough to stop the pattern.

But if the behavior continues or worsens, it may be time to call in professional help.

2. Don’t Engage in the Same Behavior

It’s tempting to fight fire with fire—but resist the urge.

Retaliating or mirroring their behavior can backfire legally and emotionally. Minnesota courts are focused on what’s in the best interest of the child, and when both parents are seen as acting out of spite or control, no one wins—especially not your child.

Here’s what to do instead:

• Stick to your parenting plan or court order

• Keep communication civil and documented

• Set clear, enforceable boundaries

• Involve a neutral third party when needed

Consistency, integrity, and respect will not only support your child’s emotional health—it will also strengthen your position if legal action becomes necessary.

3. When Necessary, Bring It to the Court’s Attention

When communication fails and your relationship with your child is being affected, legal intervention may be necessary. In Minnesota, courts take parental manipulation seriously—especially if it leads to parental alienation or disrupts a child’s stability.

If you’re seeing an ongoing pattern, it’s time to talk with a family law attorney.

Judges can:

• Enforce existing custody orders

• Modify parenting time

• Order co-parenting counseling

• Reprimand or penalize a parent for violating court orders

Bringing your concerns forward early prevents the problem from escalating and sends a strong message that your child’s well-being comes first.

You Don’t Have to Handle This Alone

At Johnson/Turner Legal, we help Minnesota parents navigate co-parenting challenges with clarity and confidence. Whether you need to understand your rights or take action in court, our experienced child custody lawyers are here for you.

💬 Book a quick guidance call today and take the first step toward reclaiming peace in your parenting journey.

Together, we can help you take control of your future—and your child’s.